Ideas and Emotions Abound

So FYI, the Mary Kay party went very well, I think. There were a few random moments but all in all I can't complain. There was a bit of an awkward feeling in the air between me and a couple of people just because we have outstanding drama. MJ approached me about celebrating our birthdays together. I told her I would get back to her but honestly I'm just not that interested. Why is she worried about "partying" with me when we haven't even had a conversation in weeks. Its just kinda random. Maybe this is her attempt at trying to bury the hatchet. Either way I'm still on the fence.

Big Ideas abound. I have decided that in addition to wanting to create my own children's books and documentaries, I also want to take some painting classes, watercolor to be exact. I've always wished that I could paint and paint well. The great thing about taking the classes is that its a win-win from various angles. First off hobbies just plain old rock. It'll be great to take a class that I'm not being graded on for once. I can just have fun with it (hopefully) and use it as an outlet. Its something interesting to talk about on applications and during interviews. Let's face it: In this day and age, with the crazy unemployment rate, standing out from the crowd is everything. It remains to be seen if I will be able to find any gainful employment directly related to the psychology field but this is helping me look at my situation in new ways. For example, art is used in therapy a lot these days in order to help people express their emotions, especially children and others who have been through traumatic events. This could be the key to unlocking what my contribution to the psychological community will be. The painting thing could also increase my earning potential in the semi-short term. If I become a good painter I can offer lessons for a fee. Hey side-hustle! So yea I think I'm going to move forward with painting in some capacity but I just have to find a way that makes since financially. Guess this means no Sims 3 for me in the near future...unless some handsome Guyanese man decides to treat men ;) .

So the trend I'm noticing here is that I'm interested in exploring all of creative pursuits. Not shocking when I think about it. I know so many people with creative talent, not the least of which being my boyfriend. Is it so wrong for me to want a little talent of my own. I just want to find something that I genuinely enjoy enough that I will continue doing it long term. Its all about trial and error. When I find my "thing," I'll know it.

Speaking of financial matters, I finally opened a savings account. Hopefully this will help me accumulate and maintain savings in an organized fashion. I kind of had a semi-break down the other day when I started thinking about everything that's on my plate these days. I cried so hard that my nose bled. Crazy, I know. Don't really feel like rehashing it right now. Just know that becoming suddenly financially independent is not all its cracked up to be. I gotta figure out how I'm going to survive next school year. Things tend to work out for me in the end but God knows I'm not trying to wait forever to find out how this situation is going to work. It wears on me. Thank God I have Wes though. He's such a blessing. He promptly dragged me out of my depression. Its so nice to know that I have him in my corner. I hope that he's always there....