Drama-Rama

Tuesday was definately an exercise in patience. Work was pretty good actually but I had to do plenty of running around. It definately was a day full of responsibility. Monday was like that too. I'll say this about my job: there are definately some days when it is painfully clear that I'm the intern aka the assistant aka "a recepticle for all the crap peeps don't want to do themselves." However the majority of my time is spent doing things that will be very useful to me in the future if I stay in the marketing field. I've learned a lot and that's more than a lot of interns can say. Heck, in reality I've learned something from every internship (this is my third) or job I have ever had. Oftentimes these positions have simply been lessons in what I DON'T want to do and I think that's fine. I think that in the world today, with the vast amount of options and opportunities available, finding your calling can be a daunting task. I'm not talking about the musical prodigies and multi-millionaire CEO toddlers. I'm talking about everyday folk who are just trying to survive really. Survivals what its really about. And if I can survive in an enjoyable way that will make life so much better. So thats why I do all these internships and stress over academic measurements of success. Its a means to an end. Hmm I've rambled on a bit here. I haven't even touched on the dramatic part of the day yet! I'll write more later.
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So yea, after a hard day of work I had to endure the ridiculous metro commute. A train had actually derailed somewhere so it jacked up everything. I'm not being selfish. I'm sure the people who were on the derailed train experienced much more havoc (everyone was ok by the way). That doesn't diminish the fact that my commute was terrible. Because trains were taking so long, the platforms were overpacked, un-airconditioned, and no one had any idea when the trains would come. And when they did arrive, they were already crowded from the previous stations thus creating a mob scene of customers, desperately attempting to squeeze on board. Pure chaos. Let me tell you its a very uncomfortable, agitating feeling to be stuffed over capacity into a tiny bread box with no air thats stopping every 2 feet, especially when you already question you already question your safety due to the ongoing emergency situation. This craziness extended my commute by probably 40-60 minutes. And they said that we wouldn't be charged when we arrived at our respective destinations. Clearly a lie.

So I get back to campus...finally and everything was fine at first. But then somehow I got into a big thing with the bf. It started when I asked him about something he said previously about how before we could get married he would want me to rid myself of some of my perceived baby-ish-ness. I was simply explaining that although there may be parts that he does not like, there are also parts that he does and if I change too much he might not even recognize me. Babyish or not, its tied into what makes me me. So from that he decided to launch an aggressive interrogation/attack questioning various strong reactions that I've had to things in the past. Some of them were from almost two years ago. He kept badgering me for an explanation for why I sometimes, in his opinion, overreact to things. He did not seem to be able to grasp the possibility that maybe I can't explain everything. In some cases I can understand that my reaction can be a tad over the top but its not often and it hasn't really happened recently either. Some cases he brought up were well justified or not even a big deal, leaving me to feel like he expects me to handle things the way that he does. He's pretty lax about most things but thats not me. He also left me feeling like I'm some kind of alien that no one can understand. I told him straight up: we're going to have to figure out some kind of way for you to understand or its not going to work anyway. A relationship can't work if the two people cannot relate/grasp each others perspectives. I also didn't appreciate the suggestion that I could be either a bad influence or even detrimental to possible children we would have. I think thats outrageous. I'm emotional! So what! Its funny because he has told me previously that my depth of emotion would make me a good mother. Oh how quickly the tables turn. The whole thing left me feeling drained and defeated. I just wanted to give up and I'm not sure if I've ever felt that way about us before.bTroubling. When I told him how I felt he tried to tidy it up and take all the blame himself. He always does that. What he doesn't understand is that I don't care whose fault it is as long as he understands where I'm coming from.
Whatever.
Long day indeed.

I don't want GRE to consume my life but...

the reality is I gotta take it anyway if I intend to get into a halfway decent grad school. I refuse to pay the ridiculous $140 registration fee more than once so therefore to aid me (and you, my lovely readers, if I have any) in getting ready, I have added the Dictionary.com Word-A-Day widget :) Enjoy

My Weekend....

was...interesting. Plenty of peaks and valleys, but hey this is me that we're talking about. I went home on Friday cuz I had a doctor's appointment. I figured that it would be a nice gesture to stay at home for part of the weekend since the parents are always saying that they never see me. So yea, I went to the doc and that went fine. Then I rushed home to drive my mom and dog to the vet because he had an ear infection. Of course I knew nothing about this mysterious ear infection. I honestly feel like my mom just keeps everything she possibly can from me. I'm the last to know everything. I don't know if she thinks she is protecting me or what but either way I would appreciate honesty and openess much more. So we get to the vet and Carmello (the doggy) pleasantly suprised me with his behavior overall. He hadn't been to the vet in ages and generally doesn't do well with strangers so I had prepared myself for the worst but my baby did great. Although he was clearly extremely nervous, and peed everywhere to show it, he didn't bark, bite, or wine much at all. He definately went through a lot too. They had to dig up his but cuz he had swollen anal sacks ( I know, I know. I'm sure he didn't like it either), clean his ears (which he hates), gave him like 8 or 9 shots, and just generally invaded his space and privacy. However it was all for his benefit. At least now we know that he's as healthy as possible and once he finishes his ear infection medicine he should be feeling much better. So after signing him up for something similar to health insurance, my mom went to work and I was left to look after him and watch for any negative reactions to all the meds he was on. Long story short, he was fine, drowsy but well.
Saturday started ok. I slept very well and I was extremely cozy in my bed, though slightly startled by the fact that my mom was already leaving the house. She had a hair appointment before work and the hair stylist who is also a friend of hers was en route to the house to pick her up. Or at least this was the plan anyway. Then my "father" comes wandering in, also startled by the fact that she's leaving, declaring that he just spoke to the porch repair man and told him he could come have her sign the paperwork that morning. Did he tell her about it in advance? Of course not. Did he care about her plans? No. Did he care that the woman was already on the way? Nope. Did he show any remorse for not consulting her? No. Did he care at all? Apparently not. He just casually instructed her to cancel her plans because his were, in his mind, more important. Whats worse is that she just obeyed quietly, without more than a few words about it. Just when I thought it couldn't get more ridiculous...the woman had just pulled up outside so my mother had to go outside and tell this woman she couldnt go after she had driven over to get her. I know that I would have been mad if I was that woman. It was a waste of time and money and had to have came across very inconsiderate. Let's not even get into the cost of gas!!! In the midst of this I jumped out of bed and into the shower, determined to get out the house as fast as possible due to being fed up with the parental foolishness. So then the icing on the cake: the porch man comes, 2-3 hours later, and reveals that he only needed my father's signature. Meaning that my mom could have went ahead with her plans and all that drama could have been avoided. I close my case. Total foolishness.
So at that point, I'm getting ready to leave. Before leaving I remember that my wind shield wiper fluid light has been on for about a week. So in an attempt to be helpful pops goes and gets a jug of wiper fluid out of the house and we did some guess work as to which hole to pour it into. Huge mistake! It turns out that he put it into the wrong place. I could tell something was wrong when the light was still on and he confirmed my fears after making quick reference to an engine layout in the owners manual. He thought it would be alright but I was skeptical so we journeyed up to an auto parts store that advised him that the ill-fated fluid must be removed asap. So he bought a pump and went to work. It couldn't have taken more than a minute and the crisis was averted. He also bought me some coolant/anti-freeze (thats what was needed in the other empty space). So yea pops took care of everything as usual and I do appreciate it but thats not the problem. The problem is that during he a significant amount of time basically blaming me and trying to make me feel bad. Implying that I should somehow know the layout of everthing under the hood and I should be able to tell when somethings wrong AND know how to fix it. Preposterous! I almost cried but decided not to give him the satisfaction. After a while he softened his tone but the damage was already done. Nevertheless I decided to be the bigger person. I don't really blame him for what happened because it was an honest mistake and he was trying to help. With that said, I was glad to drop him off at home after that ordeal and get on my way. Bear in mind that in the midst of all this, Saturday was the hottest day of the year thus far so I was already uncomfortable and ill-tempered to begin with but whatever...
So I arrived back at school, decided against attending a picnic mainly due to the heat, and got in some quality relaxation. The bf came over later that night and stayed until around noon today. I love our quality time together. It has a great rejuvenating, relaxing effect on me. A couple issues did come up during that time but they didn't really ruin the mood or anything, just sparked some serious conversation, which isn't a bad thing at all. At the end of the day, we love each other and thats all that matters.

Delicious and...nutritious???

The lunch of champions

Note: Yay I figured it out (the mobile posting thing). I was doing go.blogger.com instead of go@blogger.com). Prepare to be inundated with my randomness :)

True Life: I Live Another Life On The Web

So I watched that episode of True Life recently that features that girl, judy, who has social anxiety disorder, among other things, and has turned to the internet as a way to express herself. Her lifestyle is somewhat controversial to some people because not only does a good portion of her life revolve around her pc but because of the content of her website/blog. Basically I think a lot of peeps are probably bothered by the fact that she posts her own adult content. We're talkin pics, videos, chats, etc. She seems to find it liberating. Personally I don't think that its really that big of a deal. Do I think its normal? I don't know. Who knows what normal is anyway? Normal doesn't exist. Its all relative to each individual person and his/her beliefs. All I know is, I'm not her. I don't live her life or walk in her shoes so who am I to judge. My only advice to her would be just be safe in whatever you do. There are a lot of nut jobs in the world today and women really can't afford to lower their guard to much anymore, particularly on the internet.

If your interested in viewing the site, here it is: http://postlapsaria.net/

Blah...

So its been a somewhat interesting day. Work was alright. I tried out blogger mobile a couple times today. It worked the first time but now then it either stopped working or I'm just confused about how to work it. I'll fiddle around with it later on. The weather is really ridiculous right now. There's been torrential rain, up to 70 mph winds, and hail since about 3 pm. According to the weather guys there has also been at least one confirmed tornado in the area. I've always felt like severe weather tends to avoid me; never been in a tornado, hurricane, earthquake or anything like that, THANK GOD. How's that for a reality check. One minute you're totally safe and far from harm (at least in your mind) and then boom: your uncomfortably close to the limits of mortality. Needless to say I'm hoping and praying for this weather event to be far, far away in the middle of some unpopulated portion of the open ocean. It finally sounds like its moving away. Let's hope it stays that way.

So back to work. It was eventful yet uneventful, I guess. I got to sit in on a meeting/tutorial for some software that might be very useful to me in future jobs so that was good. As far as actually learning it, that will take time. I'm one of those people that learn through doing. The boss and I had some good chit chat. And my assignments are continuously allowing me to exercise more of my creative side (creative, who me?) which actually makes me happy. I appreciate the fact that my boss makes an effort to expose me to new things and actually teaches me stuff. This experience should look good on the ole resume.

Workin hard: the life of an intern

I hope this is a really good day; a busy day even. A full work load makes the day go faster :)

Babies, Babies, Everywhere

On Sunday one of my sorority sisters had a baby shower. It was actually a lot more fun than I expected it to be. It was the first baby shower that I ever attended so I wasn't too sure what to expect so I kinda just went with an open mind. Plus I was really looking forward to meeting the newborn twins. They had been born like a 1-1.5 months early so seeing them at home and doing well was really a blessing. Both the babies and the parents seemed pretty content actually :). But of course the universe decided that 2 babies was not nearly enough. Another sorority sister brought over her newborn baby. (All of the babies were in the bedroom being taken care of by the twins' grandmother, all the women-folk were together in the living room, and the men seemed to be hiding out on the front stoop lol. Is this the normal set-up?) There were also 2 pregnant chicks and by the end of the shower that number went up to 3! How you ask? By way of a special announcement delivered via a special edition of baby shower hangman! And that wasn't the end of the baby shower suprises. What special occasion is complete without a the "ceremonial" passing down of an authentic African fertility doll, the very one that was given to the parents of the twins. Shower games included baby bingo, a toilet paper diaper designing contest, and a poetry contest (that I should've won). I gotta tell you all of these babies and baby talk was a lot to take in. However it was kinda nice to see the beauty of life occurring so rapidly all around me. I actually took tons of knowledge with me when I left, the most important of which: GET ON BIRTH CONTROL ASAP!!!!!

Oooooooook

So now the blog is up to date. I apologize for all of the rapidly added posts. I copied them him from another blog site. There was no way to import them all directly so I had to copy/paste one at a time. Thank God there was only a few :). But yea welcome to my blog. I still need to change the appearance. My fabulously talented bf is working on that tonight supposedly. So feel free to drop by as often as you like. I'm gonna try to make new posts regularly.

Itsy Bitsy, Teeny Weeny

...white string bikini. I've always wanted a really cute, yet simple white bikini and I finally found one yesterday at Old Navy. It has a string-tie triangle cup top and a string bottom. I'm pretty satisfied with it. I don't really like bikinis that have too much going on. Sometimes they tend to look childish or attention-seeking. I think it says a lot more about how attractive you are if you can shine in something basic. But of course with bathing suit season comes the dreaded self-appraisal of one's body and the frantic, last minute workout regime that is sure to follow. As I did my 100 crunches while looking at my lil white bikini that I hung up for motivation, I did a bit of thinking. Let me make this clear: I'm not fat by any span of the imagination, not even chubby. In fact by most standards I'm pretty skinny. Most of my fat content is confined to my booty (which I have no desire to lose) and sometimes my tummy. Consider it a consequence of being so thin. After eating, or for no reason at all, my stomach seems to balloon out, causing me to resemble 2-3 month pregnant woman. Of course no one sees it but me. Everyone says I'm crazy and over critical of myself. Whatever its my body and I know what its supposed to look like. However I'm not going crazy with it. Its not worth getting an eating disorder over it. But with that said, if there is a time for a woman to obsess over her body, swimsuit season is it, well that and her wedding/honeymoon. I just wanna look my best, you know? Especially since I don't go on trips very often. I don't really even want to lose any weight. I just wanna tone up my abs. I also wish that I could magically remove some stretch marks I have but thats highly unlikely so I'm just gonna have to make my piece with them. Slightly bigger boobs would also be good but mine are ok. I guess small and perky is preferable to big and saggy. Although I am sure there are big breasted women who love having their big boobs, saggy or not. It just goes to show that everyone and every body is different. Different people appreciate different attributes. Different strokes for different folks and all that jazz lol.

When Life Comes A Callin...

So my overwhelmed-a-meter is slowly ticking up. It astounds me that even when school isn't in session it manages to totally blow my mind (in a bad way). My grades for spring semester were pretty good: 4A's and a B. So as it stands I'm on track to graduate in December as long as I stay focused next semester. However, as is the case with most life transitions, I have a pretty hefty amount of crap on my to-do list: register/study/take GRE, grad school applications, recommendations, and just generally figuring out the rest of my life. In the midst of this I must also budget and plan for at least two upcoming trips, one to Atlanta and one to Bermuda with the BF.

On the surface I'm sure it looks like I have nothing but good things ahead. However you kinda need to understand my personality and how my mind works first. Even great things are potentially stressful cuz its just adding to my list of stuff and responsibilities. Its just more instances when I have to perform; live up to expectations. Expectations from who, you ask. Primarily from myself. I'm my own worst critic. Just the thought of failure suffocates me. I just wanna do well you know, especially when it comes to school, because for so much of my life I have dedicated a ton of my energy to excelling in school and I wanna continue on that track.

I'm sure I'm just obsessing. Anybody who knows me would probably say that I kick butt in school but in my mind I could always be doing better. Whats that saying? "Excellence is an attitude, not a habit" or something like that. I guess I just feel like I have faults in so many other areas that its just nice to be pretty good at something (school) and I just wanna maintain a good level of performance in that area so that no matter what, at least people can say "She's smart" or "She gets great grades" or "I wish I was as good at school as her." Somewhat egotistical, I know. Plz don't judge me though cuz u don't even know the half of it.

Note: Don't get it twisted, I'm "stoked" (haha, I'm watching Laguna Beach) to go to Bermuda and ATL. I just gotta make sure I take care of everything else too.

Boyfriend Blues...

I really miss my bf :( I can't wait to see him again. Of course I did just see him yesterday and I'll see him again tomorrow but thats not the point. When you love someone, you always rather be with them then alone. It doesn't mean that you won't get on each others nerves and it doesnt mean that you won't need time to yourself. I just really love him. We've been together for a pretty significant amount of time (about 1 yr, 8 mths) and this time together has been the most fulfilling time in my life. We've laughed together, cried together, argued and been totally confused by each other. We started this year off being closer to breaking up then ever. I don't think either of us were too sure if we were gonna make it. But we made it through stronger than ever and I think it says a lot about our relationship that we didnt just give up and run when things got hard. We stuck it out and it was worth it. I don't ever want to be without him. My thoughts are never far from him. I desperately want him to be the one. And what really makes me feel good is that he's not afraid of commiting to me. He wants us to have a future just as much as I do and let me tell you, thats priceless :)

Celeb of the Week: Christina Aguilera

Ok Soooo Christina is definately in stark contrast to the last celeb of the week...or at least thats how I'm sure it appears to most people. However one thing that Christina and Kelly have in common is the fact that neither of them are afraid to march to a different drummer. Admittedly she has gone through some rough patches, as we all do because its a part of growing up and then ultimately maturing. The one thing that she has always had in her favor is that voice of hers. And frankly despite her rough patches I think that she made it through quite well. She has maintained a career while also managing to have a family life which, at least from the outside, seems very normal and healthy. This is a girl, excuse me, a WOMAN, who has her priorities in order. I think it has a lot to do with the fact that she didn't get involved with another famous person. Her husband, Jordan Bratman, is involved enough with the music industry that they can understand each other and yet they are different enough to keep life interesting (I assume :) ). So yea basically I dig her lol. She has natural good looks and definately doesn't need to do as much as she does to alter them. She's talented. She's not a phoney. I've liked her since she first came out. She changed a lot since "Genie in a Bottle" but hey so have I. So Christina please just continue to do your thing. That way you can't go wrong!

***photo taken from Yahoo! Music-- Live Sets Performane photo gallery***

Shows I Love...

A) The Hills
B) Real World: Hollywood
C) Keeping Up With the Kardashians
D) True Life
E) Top Chef
F) What Not to Wear

Guilty Pleasures: Intervention & Flavor of Love 2

Psycho~Babble

I can't wait until I finish working on my business degree. My classes are just really mundane and of no interest to me. Psychology is where its at for me right now. I'm just really fascinated by it, just the whole process of figuring out how people think and being able to counsel them and make everything better...it just seems like a cool way to make a living to me. Thats why I'm going to pursue Psychology in grad school. Hopefully I won't be at too much of a disadvantage since I've only taken a few undergrad psych classes. Oh well whatever, life is too short to not pursue the path that you want. Plus having a business background is always useful. Maybe I'll open my own practice one day. Starting out working in a hospital could be cool too. I'm definately gonna pursue my doctorate too. Wny not take it all the way plus you can't really make good money without having a doctorate. So yea thats the plan. Finish undergrad in december, start grad school right after that, finish grad by like december 2010, then probably/hopefully take a break for living life (u know marriage and all that jazz), and then go back for my doctorate by like fall 2012. Prayerfully it will all go according to plan!

27 Dresses

So the movie 27 Dresses is out on DVD and Bluray and I started thinkin about the whole concept and it made me think: hmmm....is it possible that a person would really allow herself to be subjagated (sp?) to the role of bridesmiad that many times??? I mean of course this is a movie we're talking about so all forms of exaggeration are fair play, but nevertheless it made me think....

This may sound somewhat selfish but I don't even know if I really have the desire to be a bridesmaid, like ever. Period. Well...ok maybe I would want to do it at least once just so I can feel like I've been chosen, you know. Like I would feel hurt if my closest friends didnt want me to have a role in one of the most special days of her life. HOWEVER, I do not feel any need to fill that role repeatedly. Once or twice would suffice.

I'm more concerned about making it to my big day. Not to sound selfish but why be the bridesmaid when you can be the bride. I CAN'T WAIT to be the bride, the wife, the mother. I'm convinced that raising a family is a huge part of my purpose in this world. Well I guess thats kinda everyone's purpose in a way cuz we're supposed to be fruitful and populate the earth and all that jazz right?? Of course selection is key. These days you can't just go around being fruitful with any ole guy. You should strive to find The One. Yes I do believe in "the one," or more specifically "the one and a couple close alternatives." But yea getting back on topic I just can't wait until my big day comes. Some days I can think of nothing else and others I'm more patient about it because I definately wanna wait until its the right time and the right one. And in the mean time I might fill the role of bridesmaid if it comes along but best believe I am destined to be the bride!

P.S. The movie was really good though so if u haven't seen it yet it would be great for a blockbuster night ;)

I am in desperate need of a...

VACAY!!

I can't wait until the semester is over and I can hit the road. I never go anywhere really. I've never had a spring break trip or anything. And I definately never really do anything 2 outstanding in the summer either cuz I'm always working. This summer is gonna be different. The boyfriend and I are planning a tropical getaway and I might be going to Vegas with my sorority too! There is also I high potential for partyin regularly too. This is my time to shine :)

FYI...

School is still kicking my butt. Its crazy that the semester will be over in a couple weeks because right now it seems like im bogged down in an ever-increasing pile of crap. Oh well, I'll make it though. I have to and I always do.Later

Celeb of the Week! : Kelly Rowland

I LOVE KELLY ROWLAND!!! She's such a natural, fresh alternative to Beyonce. Don't get me wrong Beyonce DOES have her strong points. She's a great performer and clearly has made a lot of good decisions in regards to her career. However, to me, as a 21 year old female, Kelly is far more attainable and easier to relate to. She has also been careful to avoid the negative side of fame i.e drugs, sex tapes, bad attitude, dwindling talent, etc. So Kelly I just want to thank you for being a positive role model for all the good girls out there.

YAY!!! Welcome 2 my blog-arooney :)

Ugh so much to do, so little time. School is driving me crazy. Life is driving me crazy. I'm hungry.......................I think I'll make waffles :)