Drama-Rama

Tuesday was definately an exercise in patience. Work was pretty good actually but I had to do plenty of running around. It definately was a day full of responsibility. Monday was like that too. I'll say this about my job: there are definately some days when it is painfully clear that I'm the intern aka the assistant aka "a recepticle for all the crap peeps don't want to do themselves." However the majority of my time is spent doing things that will be very useful to me in the future if I stay in the marketing field. I've learned a lot and that's more than a lot of interns can say. Heck, in reality I've learned something from every internship (this is my third) or job I have ever had. Oftentimes these positions have simply been lessons in what I DON'T want to do and I think that's fine. I think that in the world today, with the vast amount of options and opportunities available, finding your calling can be a daunting task. I'm not talking about the musical prodigies and multi-millionaire CEO toddlers. I'm talking about everyday folk who are just trying to survive really. Survivals what its really about. And if I can survive in an enjoyable way that will make life so much better. So thats why I do all these internships and stress over academic measurements of success. Its a means to an end. Hmm I've rambled on a bit here. I haven't even touched on the dramatic part of the day yet! I'll write more later.
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So yea, after a hard day of work I had to endure the ridiculous metro commute. A train had actually derailed somewhere so it jacked up everything. I'm not being selfish. I'm sure the people who were on the derailed train experienced much more havoc (everyone was ok by the way). That doesn't diminish the fact that my commute was terrible. Because trains were taking so long, the platforms were overpacked, un-airconditioned, and no one had any idea when the trains would come. And when they did arrive, they were already crowded from the previous stations thus creating a mob scene of customers, desperately attempting to squeeze on board. Pure chaos. Let me tell you its a very uncomfortable, agitating feeling to be stuffed over capacity into a tiny bread box with no air thats stopping every 2 feet, especially when you already question you already question your safety due to the ongoing emergency situation. This craziness extended my commute by probably 40-60 minutes. And they said that we wouldn't be charged when we arrived at our respective destinations. Clearly a lie.

So I get back to campus...finally and everything was fine at first. But then somehow I got into a big thing with the bf. It started when I asked him about something he said previously about how before we could get married he would want me to rid myself of some of my perceived baby-ish-ness. I was simply explaining that although there may be parts that he does not like, there are also parts that he does and if I change too much he might not even recognize me. Babyish or not, its tied into what makes me me. So from that he decided to launch an aggressive interrogation/attack questioning various strong reactions that I've had to things in the past. Some of them were from almost two years ago. He kept badgering me for an explanation for why I sometimes, in his opinion, overreact to things. He did not seem to be able to grasp the possibility that maybe I can't explain everything. In some cases I can understand that my reaction can be a tad over the top but its not often and it hasn't really happened recently either. Some cases he brought up were well justified or not even a big deal, leaving me to feel like he expects me to handle things the way that he does. He's pretty lax about most things but thats not me. He also left me feeling like I'm some kind of alien that no one can understand. I told him straight up: we're going to have to figure out some kind of way for you to understand or its not going to work anyway. A relationship can't work if the two people cannot relate/grasp each others perspectives. I also didn't appreciate the suggestion that I could be either a bad influence or even detrimental to possible children we would have. I think thats outrageous. I'm emotional! So what! Its funny because he has told me previously that my depth of emotion would make me a good mother. Oh how quickly the tables turn. The whole thing left me feeling drained and defeated. I just wanted to give up and I'm not sure if I've ever felt that way about us before.bTroubling. When I told him how I felt he tried to tidy it up and take all the blame himself. He always does that. What he doesn't understand is that I don't care whose fault it is as long as he understands where I'm coming from.
Whatever.
Long day indeed.