When Life Comes A Callin...

So my overwhelmed-a-meter is slowly ticking up. It astounds me that even when school isn't in session it manages to totally blow my mind (in a bad way). My grades for spring semester were pretty good: 4A's and a B. So as it stands I'm on track to graduate in December as long as I stay focused next semester. However, as is the case with most life transitions, I have a pretty hefty amount of crap on my to-do list: register/study/take GRE, grad school applications, recommendations, and just generally figuring out the rest of my life. In the midst of this I must also budget and plan for at least two upcoming trips, one to Atlanta and one to Bermuda with the BF.

On the surface I'm sure it looks like I have nothing but good things ahead. However you kinda need to understand my personality and how my mind works first. Even great things are potentially stressful cuz its just adding to my list of stuff and responsibilities. Its just more instances when I have to perform; live up to expectations. Expectations from who, you ask. Primarily from myself. I'm my own worst critic. Just the thought of failure suffocates me. I just wanna do well you know, especially when it comes to school, because for so much of my life I have dedicated a ton of my energy to excelling in school and I wanna continue on that track.

I'm sure I'm just obsessing. Anybody who knows me would probably say that I kick butt in school but in my mind I could always be doing better. Whats that saying? "Excellence is an attitude, not a habit" or something like that. I guess I just feel like I have faults in so many other areas that its just nice to be pretty good at something (school) and I just wanna maintain a good level of performance in that area so that no matter what, at least people can say "She's smart" or "She gets great grades" or "I wish I was as good at school as her." Somewhat egotistical, I know. Plz don't judge me though cuz u don't even know the half of it.

Note: Don't get it twisted, I'm "stoked" (haha, I'm watching Laguna Beach) to go to Bermuda and ATL. I just gotta make sure I take care of everything else too.